Director of Flock Resources

Handles hiring, firing, and everyone’s feelings about both. Denied three vacation requests before breakfast. Approach with snacks. 🥚 The Egg

Chief Nap-time Coordinator

Enforces mandatory rest across the flock. Has never personally stayed awake past 2pm. Leads by example. ✨ Preening

🎬 Test print

Director of Duckling Development

Runs the intern program with an iron wing. The bucket hat is non-negotiable. The interns fear her; the algorithm fears her more. 🥚 The Egg

Director of Higher Pond Education

Covers all university outreach. Tailgates in any weather. Bleeds Cardinal red and quacks in ACC. 🦆 Flight of the Qwacker

Head of Beaver Security

Pond perimeter defense. Took a beaver dam to the foot in ’24 and never spoke of it again. The walker is tactical. ✨ Preening

Director of Quack Care

Head of first aid. Stays fully bandaged at all times — half readiness, half from testing the supplies on herself. 🪶 Molting

Chief Party Fowl

Owns entertainment. Has never met a parade he didn’t lead. The beads are company property and he will invoice you. 🐣 Hatching

Director of Talon Artistry

Runs the flock nail bar. Does her best work over an oat milk latte. Booked out six weeks — the waitlist has a waitlist. 🦆 Flight of the Qwacker

🎬 Test print 📸 At the nail salon 💅 Visit the salon 📍 Find the salon

Chief Puck Officer

Hockey operations. Has strong opinions about icing. The scarves are load-bearing. Job requirement: must be a die-hard Florida Panthers fan. No exceptions. 🐣 Hatching

Director of Purchasing

Controls the company card. Sephora knows her by name. Ulta sends a car. 🐣 Hatching

Director of Oceanic Relations

Forty years at sea and the stories to prove it — most of them true. Knows every port, every tide, and exactly where the buffet is. 🐣 Hatching

Director of Hardware, Research, and Scouting

Part field scientist, part scout, part hardware hoarder. Treks the Duck Hardware Habitat with a magnifying glass and a research notebook, cataloging every bolt, gear, and golden whatsit the flock has ever waddled past. If a duck part exists in the wild, he’s already sketched it, labeled it, and named the trail it was found on. 🥚 The Egg

Chief Technology Officer

Runs all of duckware. Ships features at 2 a.m. and blames the laptop fire on “iterative development.” Her product roadmap is a stack of books she will absolutely read someday. Build, test, iterate, quack, repeat. 🥚 The Egg

Director of Webbed and Winged Transportation

Runs the entire flock transit system. Five routes, zero delays, one mandatory Snack Stop. Earned his CDL before he could fly. The walkie-talkie is mostly for dramatic effect — everyone can already hear him quacking. 🥚 The Egg

Head Qwack Attack Coach of Qwacker High School

Runs the most feared offense in the county: the no-huddle waddle. Undefeated since the pond froze over in ’22. His halftime speeches are 90% quacking and 100% effective. Recruiting pitch: “Son, do you want to fly?” 🪶 Molting

Chief Rescue Qwacker

Head of the flock’s emergency response team. Swings into action at the first sign of a candy-factory meltdown or a beak-related mishap. Holds the pond record for fastest rescue: zero to gummy bear in three seconds flat. His official catchphrase is “Have no fear — Nico Qwacker is here!” but everyone just calls him Sparky. 🥚 The Egg

Chief Rock Qwacker

Lead singer of the flock’s house band and the loudest beak in the pond. Has headlined every puddle from here to the kiddie pool. Famous for his mic drops — which is why the flock’s microphone budget is bigger than the snack budget. Backstage demands include fresh breadcrumbs and complete silence, in that order. 🦆 Flight of the Qwacker

🎬 Test print 🕺 Bruno Mars 📸 At the concert

Director of Patchwork & Warm Fuzzies

Runs the flock quilting studio. Turns fabric scraps into heirlooms and bad afternoons into naps. Her quilts have taken first place at the county fair three years running — she’s also the only entrant, but that’s beside the point. ✨ Preening

🎬 Test print

Director of Brisket & Roadside Provisions

Runs the flock’s roadside snack stand. Slow-smokes a Texas brisket worth missing your exit for, and keeps 30-plus jerky flavors on the shelf because 29 felt lazy. His brisket sandwiches have their own fan club and their own parking lot. Tips accepted in compliments. 🦆 Flight of the Qwacker

📸 Meeting the mascot 📸 Shelf life 📸 Dashboard buddy 📸 Night run